GAME 1: Red Sox vs. Orioles at Camden Yards

It was a day on the road & an evening at the ballpark.

I drove this morning & afternoon from Greenville, SC to Baltimore, MD -- about 550 miles. I'd like to thank loyal readers Lloyd & Jordan for thinking to call me and keep me company. And especially my sister, who called to talk with me & helped me with a travel-related issue over the phone -- love you, sis. And I'd also like to thank Bill Simmons, again, for his podcasts that kept me laughing & entertained the whole way -- especially "The Gregarious Raconteur" episode with JackO. (BTW, Bob Turner -- you are definitely the gregarious raconteur of recent Harding matriculators) I saved up podcasts for about 6 weeks, and that is almost all of what I listened to today.

I traveled through some great parts of America today. I passed through two Civil War battlefields: the Shenandoah Valley & Antietam. I passed near the Appalacian Trail, and swore to myself that hiking another section of that trail will be my next adventure. I did about 40 miles with some buddies after my first year of college. There was a section that met the highway at the border of Virginia & West Virginia that was absolutely gorgeous. I've got to do that again -- and whip my rear end in shape before I do it, too.

Speaking of Virginia & West Virginia... I can totally see how WV is viewed as the poor, ugly step-child. Virginia was beautiful & classy-looking -- just Americana at its finest. And the weather was OUTSTANDING -- like crisp, early spring-time. I had a conversation with Lloyd on the phone about how it was like weather viagra. I know that I was probably just really excited to be on vacation, but I was genuinely pumped about this weather. Anyway, back to West Virginia. When I crossed the border over into WV, the terrain around the highway looked like Virginia after a 7-year drought. A little like West Texas. That may be overly harsh, but it was a marked difference in highway scenery IMMEDIATELY after leaving VA.

Not only that, but about a mile into the state (and a couple more times following that), there was an alarming highway sign that read:

CRASH NOTICE
If there are no injuries, move vehicles from the highway

Awesome! I was so happy that West Virginians & their public servants would be so sensitive and eager to help if I happened to find a car accident. Fortunately I didn't have to find out exactly how sensitive & eager first-hand...

So I made it to Baltimore without incident. On the way to the ballpark I passed by the birthplace of Babe Ruth a couple of blocks away. Walking up to the stadium, even though attendance was light, it was a carnival atmosphere. Mainly there are just a lot of African-American folks that make hard-sell pitches to try to get you to buy their caps, peanuts, ice-cold water, program, or whatever. For a southern boy who's not used to being surrounded by so many folks, it is extremely uncomfortable.

I made it into the ballpark & slowly made my way through the concourse. Lots of attractions, food vendors, and souveneir shops -- everything looks very nice & attracting. Little did I know that the huge, scenic-looking warehouse out past right field is actually part of the stadium area. The Orioles' memorabilia shop is on the first level, and apparently their management have offices over in that building. The concourse area is actually between that warehouse & the stadium. So after taking in a little batting practice from the concourse area just beyond right-center field, I bought a dog & a coke and made my way to my seat.

A note on hot dogs before I move on: since this is a baseball pilgrimage, I'll be sampling the dogs at every stadium. I hear baseball fans compare & debate hot dog quality, like the Dodger Dog vs. the Fenway Frank. So I'll have to rank them.

The Baltimore hot dog was plentiful. And they offered to add onions & peppers for free. I added them, and it was an excellent hot dog. (Edit on 06/13: I give this dog a 9.5 out of 10. Not the perfect hot dog, but DANG close!)

As I made my way to my seat, I couldn't quite find my row. I was in row B of a certain section, and all I could see were rows "LL" and "KK." Usually that means row B is much lower. However, row B came after the double-lettered rows. Whatever!

Since I was confused, I asked the usher to help me find my seat. All I really expected was for him to point in a general direction & help me on my way. The man grabbed my ticket from my hand, said "This way," walked briskly to my seat, wiped it off with a towel, handed me my ticket, and said, "Here you go." As I settled in & prepared to sit down, he said, "You Boston people don't tip too good, do ya." Gotta love yankee hospitality. I firmly told him, "I'm not from Boston." And I actually didn't have any cash on me because (1) everyone takes credit cards (except grumpy ushers) and (2) I just haven't hit up an ATM yet. Not that he would have been getting any of my cash anyway. I've got a great idea: next time somebody comes forward after I preach a sermon at my church, after taking their confession, I think I'll hold out my hand & say, "You cry-baby confessors don't tip too good, do ya." Maybe I'll get an extra $20, avoid being slapped, and still have my job the next Sunday. Or not.

The next fun event of the night happened 10 minutes later. Part of the reason I was offended by the usher was that I wasn't wearing any Boston regalia. I was wearing a dark red shirt & crimson Alabama script-A cap, but I could have been an average baseball fan. Anyway, soon after I finish my excellent hot dog, I see a man emerge from the tunnel below with an Auburn cap on. After losing SIX in a row to Alabama's hated rival, I just didn't want to have to speak with this guy. And, of course, he brings his family up my way to sit in the row right in front of me. Oustanding. As he walks up, he notices the hat and makes an innocent remark. He seemed friendly enough. But we knew who we both were, and neither of us got too chatty.

About 5 minutes later, the guy looks back and asks, "Hey, can you take a picture of my family & I." Of course I would. So I flip my lid backwards so I can look into his camera. Some smart-alleck fan behind me couldn't resist saying out loud (and I emphasize the "loud" part), "THATS the only time you'll ever see Alabama & Auburn do anything together." Everybody chuckles, and then the Auburn guy doesn't miss a beat -- "except giving us 6 wins in a row." Everybody chuckles some more. Except for THIS guy, who's NOW holding said Auburn fan's expensive-looking camera. It was one of those moments where I wish I didn't have to answer to the Almighty on Judgment Day. Kidding, of course. I actually said in jest, "You want me to take the photograph or not??" Everybody laughed, I snapped the photo, and then I slumped back into my seat to sulk over my wounded pride.

BTW, the reason I didn't wear my Boston gear -- I'm not that proud to be lumped in with "Red Sox Nation." In fact, I'm ashamed of it. Red Sox fans take over anytime they go visit other stadiums. And we're rude & obnoxious. And we start the "Let's Go Red Sox" chant every inning. And people hate us. I wanted to be a considerate guest in Baltimore's house tonight.

Although, I did see some Sox fans get tossed in the outfield bleachers as I was making my way out of the ballpark. These two young punks were picking fights with everyone within 2 sections of them. One was wearing a Manny Ramirez jersey/t-shirt with a flat-billed cap turned about 45 degrees. The other was wearing a Tom Brady replica Pats jersey with a flat-billed cap turned about 45 degrees. Punks. And O's fans near these particular fans kept heckling their overt rude behavior. A couple of cops came over to escort these teenage idiots out of the stadium, and everyone from the left field foul poll to center field just started applauding. It was as if some pitcher was getting yanked after having gone 8 innings with some ailment and toughed it out like a warrior. I'm sure the rest of the stadium had to be wondering what was going on. Idiot representatives of "Red Sox Nation" was what was going on.

So, in short: Virginia beautiful; West Virginia not; yankee hospitality an oxymoron; and Auburn fans & Red Sox fans are classless & obnoxious (you heard me, Bueller).

It was a good ballgame. Mostly a pitcher's duel -- just the way I like it. I sat in the upper reserve seats behind home plate & not quite in line with the third baseline. I left early in the middle of the 8th after Boston took the lead so that I could make it to my friend's house without keeping her up too late. And that happened to be the perfect time to leave: right after Boston took the lead, and right before they coughed it up only to lose in the end.

On to the tab...

Gas at the Greenville "Raceway"
$30.15 @ $3.649/gal.

Gas at the Roanoke, VA "Dodge's"
$33.00 @ $3.799/gal.

Lunch at Mickey D's
About $4.50

Various healthy drink- & snack-type items at the Roanoke, VA "Dodge's"
$7.74

Dog & a Coke at "Aramark Oriole Park"
$9.75

Ballpark Parking
$10

Ticket into the Park
$20.00
+$4.50 "Total Convenience Fee"
+$3.50 "Order Processing Charge"
======
$28.00

So the Pilgrimage tab now stands at $527.83

Next up: I get to check out the Washington Nationals brand new ballpark Tuesday night! Should be fun. Dear God let there be no Auburn fans...